Programming Forums > Community Forums > Coder's Corner Lounge

big_k105 · Jan 24th, 2005, 12:39 PM

Quote:

1. "I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit."
2. "I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."
3. "How about never? Is never good for you?"
4. "I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."
5. "I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way."
6. "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."
7. "I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message."
8. "I don't work here. I'm a consultant."
9. "It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying."
10. "Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again."
11. "I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid."
12. "You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers."
13. "I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn."
14. "I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth."
15. "I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."
16. "Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."
17. "The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
18. "Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental."
19. "What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?"
20. "I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."
21. "It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off."
22. "Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial."
23. "And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?"
24. "Do I look like a people person?"
25. "This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting."
26. "I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left."
27. "Sarcasm is just one more service we offer."
28. "If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
29. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."
30. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."
31. "I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."
32. "A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door."
33. "Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?"
34. "Too many freaks, not enough circuses."
35. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"
36. "Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done."
37. "How do I set a laser printer to stun?"
38. "I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary."
39. "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
40. "Oh I get it... like humour... but different!"

jason over at linuxforums.org posted this today and i had to post it here

http://www.linuxforums.org/forum/topic-32184.html
They are great and i would love to say them quite often at work somedays

ArchAngel · Jan 24th, 2005, 12:54 PM

Hehehe,
that's pretty good,
I think No. 25 is my favorite.

Infinite Recursion · Jan 24th, 2005, 1:02 PM

very funny

Pizentios · Jan 24th, 2005, 2:31 PM

Indeed, made me laugh.

Pseudo Class · Jan 24th, 2005, 3:26 PM

Very funny, I like 27 the best.

Broax · Jan 24th, 2005, 3:54 PM

#35 reminds me of my old boss...

Very funny, though...

Pizentios · Jan 24th, 2005, 4:39 PM

yeah there's nothing like somebody smelling like bug spray and them thinking that they smell good.

Mjordan2nd · Jan 24th, 2005, 4:55 PM

Those are pretty funny.

And it's probably better to smell like bug spray than to smell like you just played two hours of basketball before you came to work.

thechristelegacy · Jan 24th, 2005, 5:36 PM

Lance · Jan 24th, 2005, 7:40 PM

#20 rocks. But only because I've said it before. Many, many times. Even variations of it.

Yes, I am an arrogant prick...

Jan 24th, 2005, 2:31 PM	#4
Pizentios Programming Guru Join Date: May 2004 Location: Brandon, Manitoba, Canada Posts: 2,023 Rep Power: 7	Indeed, made me laugh. __________________ Profanity is the one language that all programmers understand. Check out my Blog <---updated Nov 30 2007!

Jan 24th, 2005, 3:26 PM	#5
Pseudo Class Newbie Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 26 Rep Power: 0	Very funny, I like 27 the best. __________________ Mhm...Ramen.

Jan 24th, 2005, 3:54 PM	#6
Broax Hobbyist Programmer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Porto, Portugal Posts: 142 Rep Power: 4	#35 reminds me of my old boss... Very funny, though... __________________ PORTUGALPORTUGA PORTUGALPORTUGA PORTUGALPORTUGA PORTUGALPORTUGA PORTUGALPORTUGA

Jan 24th, 2005, 4:39 PM	#7
Pizentios Programming Guru Join Date: May 2004 Location: Brandon, Manitoba, Canada Posts: 2,023 Rep Power: 7	yeah there's nothing like somebody smelling like bug spray and them thinking that they smell good. __________________ Profanity is the one language that all programmers understand. Check out my Blog <---updated Nov 30 2007!

Jan 24th, 2005, 4:55 PM	#8
Mjordan2nd The Supreme Ruler Join Date: May 2004 Location: Houston Posts: 1,476 Rep Power: 6	Those are pretty funny. And it's probably better to smell like bug spray than to smell like you just played two hours of basketball before you came to work. __________________ "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, from those who are cold and are not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Jan 24th, 2005, 12:54 PM	#2
ArchAngel Programmer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: I could be anywhere, even Indiana Posts: 34 Rep Power: 0	Hehehe, that's pretty good, I think No. 25 is my favorite. __________________ People say I'm crazy, but I have the heart of a little boy. It's in my desk at home.

Jan 24th, 2005, 1:02 PM	#3
Infinite Recursion Programming Guru Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: United States Posts: 3,464 Rep Power: 8	very funny __________________ http://jasonpowers.net "There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."

Jan 24th, 2005, 5:36 PM	#9
thechristelegacy Expert Programmer Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Somerset, Pa Posts: 707 Rep Power: 4	lol

Jan 24th, 2005, 7:40 PM	#10
Lance Programmer Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 74 Rep Power: 4	#20 rocks. But only because I've said it before. Many, many times. Even variations of it. Yes, I am an arrogant prick... __________________ (Toggle Plain Text) /* LANCE / C++; / this makes C bigger but returns the old value / char site = "slackwise.net", home = "lance.slackwise.net", pics = "flickr.com/photos/slackwise"; /* LANCE / C++; / this makes C bigger but returns the old value / char site = "slackwise.net", home = "lance.slackwise.net", pics = "flickr.com/photos/slackwise";

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Programming Forums > Community Forums > Coder's Corner Lounge

40 Things you'd like to say out loud at work