Duck

I would consider none of the programmers at my workplace as socially inept or different from non-programmers.

Me niether, I've suffered from bouts of serious depression most my life.

In my twenties I developed social anxiety, I put this down to gradually becoming dependent on alcohol to socialise when going out with my friends between the ages of 18-23.

Due to anixety I often come across as shy/quiet/nervous especially with new people. This might sound like a bit of contradiction but I would consider my social skills as excellent, its just that my anxiety often stops me from being able to use them. Life is a cunt.

(Note: I have doubts about my anonymity on this forum, since one of my co-workers sits behind me and can probably see my screen, but I don't really care)

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Jabo

I guess my biggest problem with social interactions is 99% of the time it involves a pecking order, and I get enough of that at work. I don't feel the need to subject myself to the wants and wishes of other people just to be around them. I've rarely jumped on the bandwagon just because everybody else did it. I will give something a try if people I'm comfortable with are into it, otherwise, I do my own thing mostly.

This is also why I hate church. "Everybody rise, everybody sit, everybody praise the Lord, everybody give". Sorry to bring religion into it, but I felt it was relevant.

tAK

Yeah, i can vouch for a difference of personalities anywhere within a Job (IT or not). I tend to go home and spend my spare time on what the OP has classed the "no life" register.. that doesn't mean i don't socialise, i find WoW to be one of the largest social activities i take part in, It tends to be that like minded people get on well.

And just because you are a programmer and so are your class/work mates, does not mean that you are of the same mind.

I work in schools, giving tech support to staff, I don't really relate to any of them, and when i stop in the staff room to have lunch, i don't really get spoken to.. unless its about computers.

Its not just us having an aversion to socialise with others, its others having an aversion to socialise with us. Bit of a two way street really, I am generally shy, But if someone strikes up a conversation with me, i will happily sit back and answer.. I just haven't gotten the hang of approaching others for conversation with no particular purpose.

@Darkhack - I kinda know what that's like, I Never dropped out, but i was the but of all jokes. When i got to college, whilst no one ever singled me out, I never made friends in my non-computing classes.. Photography / english were just completely awkward, group activities never felt right.. Information systems was different, most everyone in the class was talkative.. Never had a problem in group activities, The oddest thing, was that despite having a person in my info sys class that was in my english class, i never talked to them in both.

DaWei

My main comment about this thread, in general, is :eek:. First, you take a year's course in astronomy. This will convince you that you are not the center of the universe. (I think my "generational" comment was right on target -- today's generation hangs on the teat longer and expects more. They didn't have to deal with the aftereffects of the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl).

It will also convince you that all the others who behave as if they are the center of the universe are no more informed than you are. Therefore, you can disregard any pretensions to superiority that they might exhibit.

The best antidote is to take charge. People who have the same outlook as most of you are looking for that, desperately. Of course, if you have competition for taking charge, maybe you better run for another group with no competition. If you can't relate to other people you can't compete with people who can. Since you have placed yourselves in the lower 1% of humanity, you should probably just flee.

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Abstraction doesn't make it impossible to write bad code; it makes it possible to write superior code.
Contributor's Corner: Grumpy on C++ Exceptions DaWei on Pointers

Booooze

I kind of know how you feel. Luckily for me, I was into sports much earlier than I was computers. Therefore, When I got good with computers (and I was better than a lot of the people in the class), I felt like I was out of place. But once I got conversations going in the room, a lot of people were a little more talkative.

bigguy

Not everyone who programs was shut out during high school. I programmer all through high school, and was one of the cool/popular kids. Like the OP said, some programmer or IT people, kind of keep to themselves. That is because they might not have the right kind of social or communication skills to carry on a ceonversation with someone. Most of the time I wont talk to someone I dont really know, I will try to get to know them, but I usually don't go up and start a conversation like we've known each other for the last 10 years. Just try to communicate with them, let them know you wantto be their friend, and they will probably come out of their shell. Programmers are more liekly to keep to themselves because with IT you have to interact with people. I own a small business and I manage alot of the local schools computer systems, and I constantly find myself interacting with peopel through out my whle day. Maybe they don't talk much because they don't know you well, or you don't have much in common. I can't talk to people i've known for a long time unless I know what I am talking about is fact. I hate to look stupid although sometimes my plan backfires on me. But if you try to get to know them, and let them know you want to get tot know them, they might come out of their shell and start talking to you more.

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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. - Mark Twain

Destruction leads to a very rough road, but it also breeds creation.

ThatBuddyKid

I have to say its something i really struggle with. In school i have a hard time telling my friends that program and play video games that i don't like talking about that kind of stuff in school not that I'm ashamed but talking about how many head shots we got last night on Counter Strike Source gets a little old. Also my teachers don't get when I think in programing terms. Like when my English teacher asked me what parts of English I had trouble with and I said Syntax Errors I meant like Punctuation and Spelling but she had no idea what that meant. I also would like to add that my girl friend gets mad at me when I say I have to get off the phone with her to finish a python shell. It's almost like I keep my two lives separated my normal side and my geeky-nerdy side. Keep in mind I'm only 13 so i have no experiences with this at work

DaWei

I'm going to go with Bigguy here, but expess it somewhat differently.

Have you ever asked the person who is diametrally opposed why that is the case? If not, why not? Were you rejected out of hand as a retard? If so, where was your rational defense?

I submit that there is no rational defense against an irrational offense, but gUess what? Your opponents, in the main, recognize that they are irrational. You may score valuable points with no realization that you have done so.

May I offer a suggestion? GROW THE FUCK UP!

Edit: by and large, y'all make me puke. The positive side of that is that it keeps my weight down.

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Abstraction doesn't make it impossible to write bad code; it makes it possible to write superior code.
Contributor's Corner: Grumpy on C++ Exceptions DaWei on Pointers

bigguy

Yeah, I'd say that was expressed somewhat differently. lol, but it all meant the same thing in the end.

__________________
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. - Mark Twain

Destruction leads to a very rough road, but it also breeds creation.

bigguy

Jabo, I just re-read your post. Dumbest thing I ever read. You wasn't an athlete because you wasn't socially acceptable. Thats the biggest pile of bullshit , and I've seen lots. I've been overweight kid all my life, but in 4th grade I decided I wasn't gonna let my size affect my life. I played football all the time, and baseball to, cause I was good at it. I started every year I played.Then in 4th when I decided to play basketball I know it would take a lot of work on my part, cause there was constant running. But I stuck with it, every year I played and by my second year I started. Then I dislocated my knee cap in baseball, and couldn't play anymore.

You using an excuse as to why you dont play sports because your play video games is crazy. You don't play sports because you don't want to or you are lazy. Simple as that, I know alot of computer geeks that are athletic. It seems to me that computers and video games have more control over your life, then you do. When it gets to that point you need help.

__________________
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. - Mark Twain

Destruction leads to a very rough road, but it also breeds creation.