csrocker101

Hey everybody. I'd just like to start a discussion about the people and social skills of most programmers and other IT professionals. I know that its an old stereotype that people who study computer science and people that become IT professionals are generally nerdy and are generally considered to be "weird" people but having studied computer science for almost 3 years I am beginning to understand why. Even from the beginning of my major, I noticed that about 75-85% of the people in my courses are just very different than your average student. I know that an "average student" is objective but it seems like these guys in my courses just have no life except to go home, program, play world of war craft, and talk about just generally weird stuff. I have respect for that since those are their interests but it seems they just have no life. What particularly amazes me about the vast majority of people in my courses is their inability to simply communicate effectively. Their lack of people skills is frightening. I remember being in a group project and being the team leader and it was immensely difficult to simply coordinate who should do what task. I would attempt to ascertain each persons skills and particular interests so I could better allocate each task to certain individuals and it was hard to explain, but their explanations where very unclear and complicated. On occasion I'll try to chat with a few other fellow students in the labs but the conservations are just odd and the sense of humor some of my fellow students have is just bizarre. I am currently interning at a software company and I find the same problem with a few of my other co-workers. They simply just don't want to coordinate which I find very frustrating. They seem to want to do everything by themselves. For instance I am attempting to upgrade a few things on an ASP.net website one of the programmers made, but he has left no comments in his code. I will ask the programmer for help on certain functions and he gives me loose and unclear answers and is reluctant to even help. I asked him to please comment his code since its something everyone should do, but he just gave me new code and there were no comments. We went out to lunch the other day with a few other co-workers who were more business oriented and I found myself having great conservations. The programmer came and he just felt so alien in the group. We almost had to include him in the conversation because he just wouldn't say anything and when he did it was just odd talking points. I hope I am not offending anyone and that was not my intention but I was just wondering if anyone is experiencing the same problems as I am.

dr.p

First, the word is spelled "conversations." I'm sorry, but I just had to say that

Stereotype all you want... it's what people do. Just don't keep them there your whole life. You've had an extremely small amount of exposure to what you're criticizing. You do see valid differences, and probably have SOME valid issues with your co-workers, but they are who they are for good reason, and it quite possibly may take you years (decades if you're unwilling to unstereotype them) to truly understanding WHY we/they are the way they are.

What makes you think that going home, programming, playing world of warcraft, and talking about weird stuff isn't a life? You'd be surprised at how different lives are across the rest of the world. Pig farming never seemed like much a life to me, but it's the lot some got.

Yes, they ARE different. Different is GOOD. If we were all the same, there'd be a never-ending single tone, droning in agreeance from every single mouth across the planet... and then the world would end.

Turn on that CW station some time and watch Beauty and the Geek. Just let it soak in. That show is utterly ridiculous, but it shows phenomenal contrasts between two major western culture subcultures... and there are lots of hotties to boot ... or op.

And read some non-technical articles on the internet about programming and programmers. The Joel On Software blog has some very entertaining and enlightening articles.

The not-commenting thing does suck. But, it's just a part of the practice that some programmers don't seem to think they need to do at first. If they continue in the practice, they'll most likely mature enough to see the benefits of it.

Sorry if I'm rambling. Last thing, csrocker... You probably don't communicate effectively with them because you don't think like they do. I think that's usually how that works. But that's nothing lots of questions, time, and patience can't remedy.

~

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DaWei

If the ass doesn't comment his code, there's a boss problem. If team members aren't communicating, there's a boss problem. I agree with you about the "no life" business, but it's his option to have a "no life" life on his own time.

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Jabo

People who are drawn towards programming are people who were shut out in high school. Computers don't judge, video games don't give you swirlies, and pocket protectors don't say you have cooties. I am drawn toward computers and programming myself because I don't particularly like being around people. I find most people are untrustworthy, gossipping, rude, political, and judgemental and those are qualities I don't want to learn to accept. I have few friends, if any, and I like it that way. I try to be self-sufficient and don't rely on other people. I am what I am and I don't expect anybody will ever accept me for that.

Funny thing is, I could have been an athlete if I had been socially acceptable. Also, I am not your typical nerd, but I understand them better than I should.

lectricpharaoh

Don't forget that if you do feel the urge to be around people, there are social but stereotypically nerdy activities such as (pencil and paper) RPGs and LAN parties. For me, growing up, it was modem meets. I remember many a night (morning?) when a horde of socially-inept nerds would descend upon the local Denny's like a plague of locusts.

Ahh, good times.

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ReggaetonKing

Well, you won't have that problem with me. I never shut up. :-)

I see your point on this. A lot of people in my CS class right now are all nerdy, no offense to them. All of them either have black shirts with some type of gaming related phrases or some rock band logo. I feel so unique because I'm the only one I see wearing Southpole polo shirt, plaid short, sunglasses on the head, and Nike Air Force Ones / Timberlands. It's like I add color to the room!

I feel uncomfortable at times but I try to invoke conversations to the classmates but only manage to get a word or two. You should have see the faces on some people when I mentioned I had a kid. lol

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peace_of_mind

Actually I wasn't shut out at all. I played football, basketball, wrestled, etc. However, I've never been much of an extrovert, so most of the rest of what you said I tend to agree with.

I tend to, and also like to, work alone when possible, so programming is a pretty good fit. I'm not so socially inept that I can't work with folks on a group project or anything, though. People from different backgrounds are going to have difficulties communicating, especially in the early goings. I mean you try going with him to a William Shatner book signing and see how comfortable you feel with no Vulcan ears on. Basically you need to give things time, open your eyes to different perspectives, and not worry so much with labeling/categorizing/sterotyping coworkers, as has already been stated.

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DaWei

I came to programming via electrical engineering (hardware design). The people I have worked with (including the programmers) are a mix of introverts and extroverts, athletic and non-athletic, stupid and intelligent, and so forth. Some have very active social lives, others don't. Maybe it's a generational thing.

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peace_of_mind

I don't really think it's generational. I just think people are different. Take any profession and if you were to spend time with each person you'd no doubt find vastly differing personalities and social lives. I think programmers/IT/Geeks get more press for it just due to stereotypes. That and folks are just jealous of us. :beard:

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Darkhack

I lack social skills. I had to quit high school because i was suffering from so much ridicule. I'm glad I did though because in college everyone keeps to themselves unlike HS where someone is always on your ass about something.

My problem is that I try to be nice to people. I really make a genuine effort but it never lasts long. I've spoken to numerous people and the term I most often hear to describe me is "creepy". I've asked others about it and no one can give me a detailed explanation but they just say that my behavior and the things I say come off as extremely creepy. I even had one girl tell me that I would grow up to be a murderer and her boyfriend said I would be a child molester. Obviously, they were assholes anyway, but pretty much everyone else agrees that I am creepy but can't seem to tell me why or what I can do to fix it. Most people aren't willing to put up with me. Those who are nice enough to do so understand I'm not the most mentally stable person in the world, and they treat me nicely in class, but they would never speak to me outside of school. Most people just plain dislike me though. I don't know if computer nerds have a higher rate of mental illness than others or if I'm just the exception.